Another day in the m*f*k*n* NYC:

Mom calls while so much is going on – that time of the month, and the designated asshole in my 9-5 life, C.M., tried to steal my idea and present it. I had to usurp my usurper! Then I’m asked by someone to do something I totally could not live with myself for (if you can believe I have ethical limits) and because I said “no”, I’m now being treated as though I think I’m some “goody-2-shoe” ... and I don't have a problem with that label, but like wtf!

And I have not had breakfast yet and it's 1:18pm. I know I don't eat enough but this is rediculous. My head is pounding.

In the midst of all this, my mom is on the phone in my ear– she thinks she has a crisis – she feels insulted by one of her clients – and I get that - I think what the client said was childish, but I also think her response to it is overboard, so apparently, I’m not responding in the way she wants me to, so she decides to lose her shit on me and all the while I’m trying only to calm her (as if it’s my job to make her feel better, but anyway I'm trying to be a good daughter) I just don’t think I should add more shit to her shit. I want her to look past it. But it’s undeniably clear she would prefer for me to be mad at whomever she’s mad at so we can sulk together.

My question to myself is this: How did I wake up in pre-school hell today? Shoot me.