... and once again I'm right

I could never admit to being wrong - I had always found a way to be the ultimate victim. It was always so easy to totally confound you and choose a random yet plausible reason that made everything I did excusable, while at such times, in my head, a voice competed with my verbalized rebuttal, yelling "SHUT UP, AND JUST SAY SORRY!"

I knew it was that simple, but I could never adjust to looking like a fool. You see, I always fucked-up the most in the areas I should have known better - in the things that I would have kicked your ass for and told you were too obvious to miss - it would set me back 100 years to to admit to such outrageous stupidity on my own part.

I told myself there was too much at stake when all you have is what people rely on you to be. ... this person who can handle it all - who can win for everyone -- because she's so damn smart.

So now, and only here, will I finally say "IM SOOO SORRY!" -- for a multitude of fuck-ups... and then for convincing you that you were always wrong and that I was always right -- that was my biggest lie. Forgive me, and help me to be a person who can make mistakes. I am so flawed.